The Shower Hates Me.

How long does it take a blonde and two brunettes to figure out how to use the shower in Sevilla?


Ok, so here’s what happened:

Every time we’d turn the water on to shower, it would be boiling lava hot for about 3 minutes, and then turn into glacier ice water. So there’s about a 5-second window when the water is transitioning from scalding to freezing where it’s a decent temperature. And that’s what we would use. Then when it would start to get too cold, we’d turn off the water, wait a few minutes (using that time to lather our hair and bodies), and then repeat the process as many times as necessary.

So the next day we told our host “mom” what was going on. She went to turn on the shower and it worked perfectly! We rejoiced, thinking the water had just been acting weird that one day. And so I showered, thinking everything was alright.

But I was so wrong.

After about 3 minutes of me happily showering, it started heating up. I had to step away from the spray, because there was that lava water again! And then, sure enough, it was quickly followed by the glacier water. Suffice to say, I was ticked off. My roommates encountered the same problem again as well.

Once again, we brought it to Margarita’s attention, and she was just as confused as we were, because her shower was working just fine. And that’s right about when I realized I was living with a racist.

Yes. A racist. Or a nationalist. Or a xenophobe. Whatever.

There was only one logical conclusion: my shower here in Spain was harboring anti-American sentiment, and was expressing its hatred in the only way it could.

I therefore named it: the Bigot Spigot.

This irrational hatred continued for yet another two days. Then, on the fifth day, Margarita came in again to try to figure it out. As expected, the Bigot Spigot was on its best behavior when she was there.

But then Margarita showed us a trick to turning on the water and adjusting its temperature that we hadn’t tried yet. I attempted it the next time I stepped into the bathroom to face my adversary…. AND IT WORKED!!!! We were each able to finally enjoy a wonderful shower on our fifth day in Sevilla!

Occasionally I’d start to feel the water temperature fluctuate a bit, but then I would just throw a withering glare over my shoulder at the Bigot Spigot and it’d behave. It knew better than that. You don’t mess with America!


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