Splang Saturday: 8 – Dirty Edition *NSFW*

People say that the bad words are the first ones you learn in another language, or at least the ones you pick up the fastest. If that’s the case, this is probably going to be the most memorable “Splang Saturday” post I’ll make. Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce…. the palabrotas. Seeing as how it’s Halloween weekend, this post will be either a trick or a treat for you, depending on how you look at it!

I did a bit more research before posting, and I found a great article that I had to include pieces of! Everything that you see in blue comes from Nellie Huang’s blog postTop 10 Spanish swear words” — everything else was written by yours truly.

Disclaimer: Lots of very vulgar words here in both Spanish and English; not for the faint of heart and NSFW (Not Safe For Work). If strong/crude/offensive/vulgar language offends you, do not click the “read more” button. Now, with that out of the way… let the fun begin!

EXPLETIVES/SWEAR WORDS:

Ostia (OS-tya) = literally means “Host” (like the Eucharist) but is used like “Oh, shit!” or “Dammit!”; it can also be used like, ¡Esto es la ostia! which is more like “This is the bomb!” — in any case, this is a very popular expletive and I heard it used ALL THE TIME. But it’s not quite as popular as….

Joder (HO-dehr) = Everyone uses this expletive, from sweet old ladies to toddlers. It’s used for any given situation, all day, every day. I’ve most often heard it used to express exasperation, but it’s used for any reason, really. This expletive is the most popular one; the kiddie version is just saying ¡Jó! — Literal translation: “to fuck” — perhaps used more commonly than in English. For example: You forgot to bring your phone out, Joder! They’re not showing your favourite TV show anymore, Joder! Damn I have to wake up early tomorrow, Joder! It’s just part and parcel of daily life in Spain. It’s used in many power-packed sentences like ‘Que te jodan! (Fuck you!)’.

Coño (KO-nyo) = Yet another popular expletive! It’s used to express surprise, anger, frustration. The most literal English translation would be “cunt” (it made me cringe to write that).

PERTAINING TO SEX:

Mente calenturienta (MEHN-teh ka-lehn-too-RYEHN-ta) = dirty mind; literally means “feverish mind”

Calientapollas (ka-lyen-ta-PO-yas) = A tease; a girl who sexually excites a guy but ends up not doing anything with him. Literal translation: “dick heater” or “dick warmer.” LOL.

Rollo (RO-yo) = literally means “a roll” but is more commonly used as a feeling (esta cosa me da mal rollo) or atmosphere/ambience (este bar tiene buen rollo). It could also be an issue/topic (vamos a entrar en el rollo). BUT, for our purposes, it also has a sexual reference, like a sexual relation and the person you have it with (buscar rollo).

Cachondo (ka-CHON-do) = horny (“ponerse cachondo” is to become horny, but “ser cachondo” means to be funny)

Amigo con derecho a roce (a-MEE-go kohn deh-REH-cho ah RO-theh) = Friend with benefits; literal translation: “friend with the right to touch”

Follar (fo-YAR) = palabrota that means to have sex (English translation: to fuck)

Follamigo (fo-ya-MEE-go) = Fuck buddy — it’s a merging of the words follar + amigo

Echar un polvo (eh-CHAR oon POL-vo) = to have sex (literal translation: to cast/throw a powder) — the way a friend explained it, this has connotations of the kind of sex that happens when you’re very tired and going to fall asleep, but then there’s always that bit of extra energy left for it.

BODY PARTS/FUNCTIONS:

Mierda (MYEHR-da) = shit (noun) — used in a sentence: ¡Come mierda! (“Eat shit!”) or ¡Vete a la mierda! (kinda like, “Go to hell!”)

Cagar (ka-GAR) = to take a shit

Meada (meh-AH-da) = piss (noun)

Mear (meh-AR) = to piss

Pís (peess) = piss (noun)

Hacer pís (ah-THEHR peess) = to piss

Polla (PO-ya) = penis; English equivalent would be “cock”

Huevos (WEH-vos) = balls (as in: testicles)

Cojones (ko-HO-nehs) = balls (as in: testicles); however, I’ve heard it used in the phrase ¡Mis cojones! and that worked like, “Yeah, right! Bullshit!”

Tetas (TEH-tas) = tits; boobs

INSULTS: Yesterday I was speaking with a Spanish friend of mine and I stated that supposedly English has more words than any other language.  He immediately responded with, “Yes, but the Spanish have more insults.” 😉

Gilipollas (hee-lee-PO-yas) = asshole; dickhead; idiot — I fell in love with this word while in Spain, it’s just so much fun to say! Every time I heard it I would giggle to myself. — When someone pisses you off, or even teases you, you would call him a gilipollas. Translated literally, ‘gili’ comes from a latin word meaning ‘son’.

Hijo de puta (EE-ho deh POO-ta) = “son of a whore” — used like “son of a bitch.” It is however mostly used to tease someone, especially as a sarcastic or envious remark. Your friend gets a promotion– ¡hijo de puta! Your brother is traveling around the world-¡hijo de puta! He just bought a 40inch plasma TV– ¡hijo de puta!

Cabrón (ka-BRON) = bastard — e.g. ¡Qué cabrón! (What a bastard!)

Bastardo (bas-TAR-do) = bastard

Puta (POO-ta) = slut; whore; prostitute

Zorra (THO-rra) = slut

PHRASES / SAYINGS:

¡Me cago en la madre! = “I shit on the mother!” I heard this uttered many-a-time by a frustrated Sevilla FC fan at the fútbol game I went to! However, this isn’t the complete phrase. The whole one is: ¡Me cago en la madre que te parió! (“I shit on the mother that birthed you!”)

¡Me cago en todo lo que se menea! = “I shit on everything that moves!” Me cago en… is a very commonly used cuss, and can be combined with anything and everything that comes to mind, like Me cago en Dios (“…on God”) or Me cago en tus muertos (“…on your dead relatives”). Omg this was so funny! I don’t think I heard this, or perhaps I did but it went over my head, but I had to include this from Nellie’s blog!

No tengo ni puta idea. = “I have no freakin’ clue.” Often you’ll hear the shortened version: Ni puta idea.

Porque me sale de los huevos. = Used in response to when someone asks you “why?” and you don’t have a reason or don’t want to answer. Literal translation: “Because it comes out of my balls.”

***

NOTE: Palabrotas like verga/puñeta/carajo/pendejo/coger/pinga, although known, aren’t really used here — those are more Latin American.

If I missed any, or if you have favorites, let me know! The more, the merrier!

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